If your child shares a strong bond with their grandparents, it can be devastating for them to hear that grandma or grandpa is moving away.
This is especially true if said grandparent has been a constant part of your child’s daily life ever since they were born.
The emotional impact can be even more profound if the retirement community is far from home, limiting the frequency of visits that your child might desire.
Like moving homes, you must prepare your kids for the new household dynamic. And, truth be told, there’s no straightforward way to go about it.
Each child and their relationship with their grandparents is different—some may not mind their grandparent’s absence, whereas others can feel the pain of loss at the outset.
As a parent, you should recognise these signs before anything else. Once you’ve established an understanding of your child’s relationship with their grandparent, then you can proceed with helping them heal and move on from this major household shift.
Without further ado, here are some tips for helping your kids adjust to their grandparents’ move.
Understand your child’s emotions towards their grandparents
As mentioned earlier, no child has the same relationship with their grandparents.
The intensity of the bond they share matters a lot when it comes to figuring out how to prepare them for their grandparents’ move.
If they’re not close to their grandparents, you don’t have to go through arduous lengths to help them cope. Take the time to understand your child’s feelings and perspective before making any move.
Of course, the closer your child is with their grandparent, the more work will have to be done on your part to console them on the move. Once you develop an understanding of their dynamic, you can move forward with a better game plan on how to address the move appropriately.
Tell them about the move early on
There’s no escaping it: you’ll have to tell your kids about the move at some point. If your child and their grandparents have a strong bond, receiving the news will hurt regardless.
This is why it’s important to tell them as early as possible so that they’ll have enough time to process their feelings and accept this new dynamic.
The way you deliver the news matters. While you wouldn’t want to sugarcoat or hide the truth, you don’t want to deliver it in a way that disregards your child’s feelings either.
Secondly, you should also consider your child’s age. If you’re talking to a toddler, then you’ll have to be extra gentle in your approach and use language appropriate for their age. Adolescents and older kids can be informed about the move in a more direct fashion.
If there’s a strong bond between child and grandparent, you may want to bring both parties in an appropriate setting and announce it while everyone’s around. Make sure everyone’s comfortable and in a neutral mood to take in the news.
Another important thing is to be calm in your delivery of the news. The last thing you’d want your kid to do is react negatively to your own outbursts. Process the move in your own time and approach the sharing of the news calmly and gently.
Console any emotions that may arise
Children’s feelings can be turbulent during this time, and it’s understandably difficult to keep them in control right away.
As a parent, your job is to help your child feel heard and validated. Proactively give them a shoulder to lean on and be a safe space for them to express their feelings.
Your child may experience sadness, anger, confusion or a mix of all three upon hearing the news. And that’s okay—these feelings are a normal part of processing such a significant change.
You may also feel affected by the negative wave of emotions, and that’s fine too. You and your kids are only human and, collectively, one family unit working through a tough time together.
You can even reframe this move as an opportunity to teach your child how to handle their emotions healthily.
Explain to them the concept of a retirement village
Your children should know that while grandpa or grandma might no longer be living at home, they’re not going to disappear forever. A retirement village like Living Choice is designed to keep elderly folks happy and cared for 24/7.
For one, these retirement villages have homes that are bright, airy, and equipped with facilities that can cater to many of their needs. They also employ professional staff and assistants on call to ensure that their grandparents will never be alone.
Tell your child that their grandparents will be happy and have access to top-notch healthcare facilities to keep them healthy.
If they’re worried that grandpa or grandma will get lonely, tell them not to be! Many similar-aged folks also live in these communities, providing your kid’s grandparents with many opportunities to have fun and make new friends.
Schedule regular visits and activities together
Once your child has come to terms with their grandparents’ relocation, talk about future plans to get the whole family together. This can come in the form of visiting them in the retirement village every month or so.
During these scheduled visits, engage in enjoyable activities that both your child and the grandparents love. This can be playing board games together, taking a walk in the local park, or eating out at a good local restaurant. The goal is to spend some good quality time together—so do whatever makes everyone happy!
And if you can’t physically meet up with them, you always have the internet to stay connected. You can schedule weekly video calls with them and have them catch up. Alternatively, you can also have movie nights with them online and have them enjoy each other’s company.
Regular contact is essential as it not only helps your child stay adjusted, but it also keeps your parents or parent-in-law from getting lonely or missing their family. You’d want to maintain that connection to reinforce a positive relationship between these two parties.
Help them adjust to the new household dynamic
Children thrive off stability, and a loved one moving can throw a wrench in a child’s feeling of security.
That said, moments like these are pivotal times when you can teach a kid to be resilient—and if they can’t accomplish that on their own, you can be there to guide them through the process.
You can help your kid adapt to this change in several ways. One way is by temporarily taking over activities done by the grandparent to the child, like reading a bedtime story.
Another thing you can do is to commemorate the new chapter of their life with something tangible.
Perhaps you can ask your parent to give your kid a gift like a framed picture to make up for their absence. Having something tangible can help your kid process their feelings and move on to their next life stage more quickly.
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